And that's when the fight started......

[Eli]

    One year, a husband decided to buy his

             mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

           The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
           When she asked him why, he replied,

          "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"


           And that's how the fight started......
         
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           My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?"
           I replied "Dust".


           And that's how the fight started.......
         
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           A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
           She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,

           'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need
           you to pay me a compliment.'
           The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'


           And that's how the fight started.......
         
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           My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
           upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something
           shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.
           'I bought her a scale.


           And that's how the fight started......
         
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           I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
           It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
           'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
           So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'


           And that's when the fight started.....
         
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           My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A
           Millionaire while we were  in bed. I turned to her and said,

           'Do you want to have sex?'  'No,' she answered.
           I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
           She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
           So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'


           And that's when the fight started.....



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           I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
           order first.  'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
           He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
           'Nah, she can order for herself.'


           And that's when the fight started......